Over visiting? Mail me what you like and we’ll sort out a plan.

The museums of South Kensington are only a few minutes walk, along with the French cinema (see Stuff) and the cafes on the King’s Road.

Borrow a mountain bike to get around Hyde Park or go jogging through Holland Park. The market at Notting Hill is just a bit further along with the best Travel Bookstore in town.

There are some regular haunts in Stuff, but for the booklet of fave places, web links and transport tips email me. And do the same for passwords to the map, directions for getting here and instructions for keys and network (sorry guys, not something to advertise on the web).

Just remember that Gloucester Road or Earl’s Court stations are the nearest. And text me for anything urgent.

Look forward to seeing you.

Meanwhile, for those living in the City, here's 30 something ways 30-something people can tell whether they're now proper Londoners...

1. You say "the City" and expect everyone to know which one.
2. You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.
4. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you, though nice in pictures.
5. You step over people who collapse on the Tube.
6. You're paying 1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".
7. Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.
8. Your door has more than two locks.
9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
10. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden, and if you live in zone 1 you call your balcony a roof terrace or your window ledge “the balcony”.
11. You consider Essex the "countryside".
12. You think Hyde Park is "nature".
13. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
14. You've considered stabbing someone.
15. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.
16. You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
17. You actually take fashion seriously.
18. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
19. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
20. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
21. Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.
22. £50 worth of groceries fit in one plastic bag; and it’s a rather small plastic bag come to that.
23. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
24. You don't hear sirens anymore.
25. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.
26. You live or work in buildings with a larger population than most towns.
27. Your cleaner is Polish, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Philippino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.
28. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.
29. You can’t understand why tourists can’t read tube maps.
30. You’re resigned to the fact that an evening out in the centre involves military style logistics to coordinate your mates.
31. You actually know what all those things on the Starbucks menu means; even worse, you’re ordering them.
32. A nice day is being able to squeeze onto the tube first time in the morning.
33. A good day is being able to squeeze onto the tube and have enough space to read Metro over the next person’s shoulder.
34. A great day is to have enough space to read your own copy.
35. An awesome day is when the guy sitting in front of you decides to get off at the next station and you’re first in line for his seat.